Stop Beating Yourself Up Over the Past

We’ve all been there—dwelling on a past mistake or negative situation, replaying it over and over, and letting it hold us back. But here’s the truth: you are not the same person you were back then. You’ve grown, you’ve evolved, and you’re capable of so much more now. To move forward, you need to dissociate from that past version of yourself and give your current self permission to fully embrace who you are today.

Last night, I had a life-changing conversation with my wife on this very topic. She was reflecting on parts of her past that still affect her mood and even her performance at work. She asked me how I’ve been able to stop letting the negatives or problems from my past influence my daily life. My answer boiled down to two simple strategies:

1. Separate Yourself From the Past

When you’re stuck in a negative loop, beating yourself up for something in the past, remind yourself:

• You’re not that person anymore.

• You’ve grown and changed.

The old you doesn’t define the new you. Forgive yourself and let go of the past so your current self has the space to thrive.

2. Reframe How You View Anxiety

Think of your brain as a fire alarm—it’s always blaring the worst-case scenario to keep you safe. This is biology at work; it’s how we’re wired to survive. But here’s the thing:

• Worst-case scenarios are statistically rare.

• Even if the worst happens, you’ve faced tough challenges before—and you survived.

Whenever anxiety hits, I remind myself of this: Look at the worst day of your life. You got through it. You’re still here. You’re stronger than you think.

The key is to stop identifying with the negatives of the past and start recognizing the strength, growth, and resilience you’ve gained along the way. Let this be the moment you stop carrying that old baggage and step fully into the incredible person you’ve become.